:: Cry from the heart

I was perusing some web logs today and came across a notation from a young guy named Mike Lea who committed suicide this week. This is an excerpt from one of his recent blogs:

07/18/03-09:21:54 PM Friday — touching the rocks and flying

i will never be a writer, an artist, a musician, a programmer; i will never be an athlete, a monk, a dancer, a mechanic; i will never learn how to talk to people, meet strangers, make friends; i will never have a happy childhood, another chance to make the connections that i missed, another chance with friends i have lost. i will never be, i will never learn, i will never have.

I remember feelings that were similar at times in my life. Here is another post from Mikes blog:

08/05/03-07:46:15 PM PM Friday — touching the rocks and flying

counting down final solutions
holes and memories. i have a hole in one of my teeth. when i move my jaw in a certain way, or explore the hole with my tongue, i get shooting pains through my head. i have a hole in my life, sometimes I think my life is nothing but holes. Whenever I think about them, it sends shooting pains through my life, and I want to die. I can go to a dentist and he'll pull the tooth with the hole in it. The holes in my life are what my life is made of, they are my memories, and the only way to excise them is with a bullet. It seems like other people heal with time, forgive with time, change with time, forget with time. I don't. I seem to be stuck here with my holes, memories and holes.

It is tragic to see life end so soon. I am reminded there's a God shaped hole in all of us that only He can fill.