I can't believe that there's been no blogging for a week. Time shot by. I found myself wrestling much this week. There was much emotional dissonance. Feeling of loneliness seemed to pound at me. I questioned my own capacities to manage what God wants to do with this church plant called Resonance. I've read the books and know that this is all part of the territory of pioneering a church.
My greatest fear is that I won't allow God to use this for me to depend on Him more and end up using the struggle to convince myself to make it all happen.
As I press in to God. I hear His reminder to keep focused on Him, to continue to renew my mind in the matters of the kingdom of God, to continue to pursue being morphed into the likeness of the man/Christ Jesus. So I embrace the wrestling in my emotions as good. Good because they will direct me to call out to the almighty. Good because I become aware of my extreme weakness and turn to my true source of strength which is God.
I am reminded by a message I heard this week that my place is to obey God. If I am to do that I have to put my trust in him daily, hourly, minute by minute. And not a trust that is fluff. It's easy to say you trust God when your feet are on secure ground and your emotions are comfortable. Real trust is when we take a big risk, one so great that there is no way it happens unless God moves and comes through. That is where we are at. So we embrace the brokenness, we embrace His strength, we embrace the journey and we continue to embrace our God.
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