My grandmother died this week. My emotions are very mixed. The one side of me is deeply sad. Sad that I will not be blessed with living life with my grandmother anymore. I will certainly continue to be blessed by the character she portrayed in this life. She always had strong boundaries and a sense of right and wrong. She was very family oriented, always wanting the whole family to be together at holidays and special times. She was always taking care of me, my sisters, her own kids, and great grandkids.
I will miss the house at 1804 N. Ave G in Haskell, Texas. The place that has always been a refuge for me my whole life. The only place I am connected with that has always been there. But no longer, it will be sold now. I have so many memories in that house. Even though it is an inanimate object made of wood and brick, I feel my life is interwoven in its fiber. So there is loss this week in my soul.
Yet at the same time there is great rejoicing in my heart knowing that my grandmother is in the presence of Jesus. I partnered with a local pastor in her funeral and I told the people my talk about grandmother being with Jesus was not pie in the sky that I hope would console us all. No, it is more a reality than what I can touch, smell, hear, or see. To quote an old hymn "My hope is built on nothing less than Jesus blood and righteousness". In other words there is a solidity in my trust in Jesus that goes beyond my own senses and my own reality of this world.
It some ways, I am jealous of my grandmother, being in the eternal presence of the saviour of my soul. The Bible says that heaven is a place where there are no tears nor pain. It tells me Jesus went before me to prepare a place. It says that there are mansions up there. I will look forward to a future day when I will again be in the presence of my grandmother and we will be in the presence or our Lord.
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